Types of Water: A Hydration Parable


A Florida man was hospitalized Thursday, after being discovered suffering of dehydration in his Clearwater home. Authorities found Chance Christian Clinger unresponsive on his couch from apparent dehydration.  Discovered on the table near his body was an empty bottle of Dasani brand water, Clinger’s favorite brand. What befuddles authorities is the refrigerator completely full of bottled water. They are searching for answers as to why Chance Christian Clinger, a healthy 46 year old, would not go to the refrigerator to get another bottle of the much needed water. Lacerations on Clinger’s tongue and around his mouth indicate that he had struggled to get the last drops of much needed water into his system from the bottle and cap found near his body.  Childhood friend, Joshua Christo, may provide some insight into Clinger’s blunder that resulted in his condition. Christo claims that he regularly stocked Clinger’s refrigerator with water of all types, including Aquafina, Zephyr Hills, Dasani, and Deer Park among others. Joshua Christo told authorities in a statement on Thursday that, “I regularly stocked the refrigerator with all brands of water, but Clinger would only drink Dasani.” Christo expressed bewilderment at Clinger’s actions as he contended, “On several occasions, I reminded Chance Christian Clinger that all the bottles in his refrigerator contained water and that all water is comprised on the same basic elements. Even if the labels are different, they are the same on the inside.” Joshua Christo claims that Clinger would regularly boldly declare that all bottled water is not the same and some water is not as pure as Dasani, therefore he refused to ingest it. However Joshua Christo would attempt to refute Clinger’s claim by drinking all brands of water in front of him to prove their purity. While one may understand this as preference of water labels, authorities found Dasani brand water, Clinger’s favorite, in the refrigerator unused. Joshua Christo told authorities that, Chance Christian Clinger on occasions would even refuse Dasani brand water. Christo contends, “Clinger would not even drink his preferred brand if the label appeared damaged or improperly applied as he asserted it might be a counterfeit. He simply refused to take that risk.” Medical professionals suggest Clinger’s body parts such as his tongue, throat and stomach must have been screaming at him to take the risk and drink the other labels or scratched Dasani bottles. Sadly, his mind overruled the strong suggestions, which led to his hospitalization. Now released from the hospital, his health stable, Chance Christian Clinger will be released to a long time friend that will oversee his recovery. Doctors suggest that this friend must make sure that Clinger not return to his former practice, stating that his body cannot endure another dehydration episode. Time will tell whether Clinger will heed professional advice and change his way of thinking about water quality.

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